Trust in a relationship is the glue that holds it all together. Yes love has to be there, but if your relationship is lacking in trust, well you may as well kiss it goodbye. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship where trust is lacking.
But what is trust in a relationship really?
What are we talking about when we talk about trust in a relationship?
Trust in a relationship may sound like a simple notion but it is awfully important and nowhere as simple as it sounds.
If you really want trust in your relationship and the benefits it brings, you have to take the time to understand what it is, and how it plays out in shaping that relationship.
Trust in a relationship Occurs At Different Levels
Loyalty and Trust: Can I trust you to be loyal. Is loyalty important to you?
- Ok this one is obvious; after-all trust is about loyalty. True, but if trust in a relationship is to anchored in loyalty, then that loyalty has to be grounded in?
- Loyalty to yourself, Loyalty to your principles. For if you are indeed loyal to yourself then you are more inclined to honor that trust.
Communication and Trust: Can I trust you to really tell you how I feel?
- Does your spouse feel confident in talking to you about issues?
- Does he or she trust you to be honest with them with your opinions or feedback?
- Does he or she trust you to not play ego games when there is an issue to be discussed?
- Does he or she trust that you will not be judgmental about what you tell them?
Cannot answer yes to all of the above? Then you may in fact have a trust issue when it comes to communicating with your spouse. This may not sound detrimental, but over time this failure to have complete trust in this area of your relationship will undermine it and create even more problems.
Sincerity and Trust: Do You Pass The Fake Test?
- Do you lack emotional intimacy? Do you have a hard time connecting emotionally with people?
- Do you treat other people fairly?
- Do you come across as sincere in the eyes of others, including your spouse?
Fake and trust is a bad combination. Trust in a relationship is undermined by being a fake. Cultivate sincerity. If you do not mean it, don’t say it. Cultivate empathy and emotional intimacy with your partner and you will also cultivate trust in your relationship.
Trust in a relationship touches a lot of emotional aspects of your life. You have to understand how these affect trust in your relationship to really benefit from them.
But even then, there are other important issues to consider regarding trust in a relationship.
Trust in a relationship – When Kids Are Involved.
Another area of our personal relationships where we must ensure trust exists is where kids are involved.
Trust in a relationship has a marked effect on kids. Does each person in the relationship trust the other to deal with the kids effectively depending on the situation?
If one person lacks a particular skill in dealing with the kids, then it is better for this to be acknowledged and not let it become something that causes agitation from time to time resulting in unpleasant and needless arguments.
Example of Dis-functionality – When Trust In A Relationship is Lacking.
For example, here is how this may play out if this situation is not resolved properly.
Mom has some doubts about Dad’s capability to enforce rules regarding bed time, TV time and play time. But mom has to go off on a one-week work related assignment, leaving dad in charge. She is concerned that the rules regarding home-work assignments are not going to be enforced completely by dad while she is away, so she asks her own mother to come stay by the house while she is away to help enforce these rules. But she says nothing to dad out of fear of offending him. Big Mistake.
This is a classic case of not seeing how trust in a relationship can be undermined unintentionally.
So what is the end result? Dad realizes what is going on, feel a bit disrespected notwithstanding his inadequacies in this area and then the issue becomes one of a lack of trust in the relationship instead of it just being a simple matter of how to apply and enforce certain rules when mom is away.
So trust in a relationship covers many facets of every relationship and it is important to realize that though fidelity is probably the one that touches us the most, there are many other areas in our relationship where we need to establish trust to ensure continued happiness.
Key Benefits of Having Trust In a Relationship.
- Trust in a relationship builds vital emotional connections.
These emotional connections are tied to shoring up the trust in the relationship because they are dependent on it to survive.
- Trust in a relationship creates and sustains intimacy.
Intimacy grows and gets more intense with trust in a relationship because in the absence of doubt the desire is only to explore further.
- Trust in a relationship creates the correct environment for personal growth.
Other Important Aspects of Building Trust In a Relationship.
Then of course there are other important aspects you need to examine relating to trust in a relationship. Here are just a few, they are as important as any other thing we have addressed in this article:
What are your fears in general about relationships? What are your anxieties about yourself? Do you really like yourself? Because if you don’t then it is natural for you to think that no one else will like you. Do you feel worthy of love and worthy to be trusted. If you don’t then how can you trust anyone else?
Do you focus on rewards or do you overly focus on risks in life? Are you easily put off by the thought of failing, rejection? Are you always going to play it safe? Because if you do, then it is going to be difficult for you to take risks, to expose yourself, to become emotionally naked. If you are very risk averse, then it is going to be extremely difficult for you to build deep and lasting trust in a relationship.
Once you begin to understand the different barriers that may be causing you to be hesitant or afraid of really building a great relationship in which trust is extremely high, then you will be motivated to get to work.
Your Next Step To Really Building Trust In Your Relationship.
So what should be your next step in really building trust in your relationship? A big one. Two words really – TAKE ACTION. Taking action reduces the fear, ramps up commitment, engage your energies and sends a powerful message – to you, to your partner.
Relationships are important, as important as anything else that in life that is worth fighting for. So take action, get the help, get the tools, understand what you are up against, but most of all understand the joy you are leaving on the table by not having complete trust in your relationship. Trust in a relationship enhances joy, peace, harmony – no one is more deserving of these than you; Take action.
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