Fear of Intimacy – Living a Life Set Free

None of us desires to suffer agony caused by another person. A break up of a friendship, a passionate relationship or especially a marriage can be particularly painful and leave an enduring effect on our lives. There can be emotional scars and even real physical agony. Sometimes such painful experiences may result in what is labeled physiologically as “fear of intimacy”, which takes the nervousness of hurt to a different level.

Fear of Intimacy

The fear of intimacy is the fear of being hurt emotionally by permitting yourself to be exposed in a relationship. Occasionally the fear of intimacy is experienced emotionally as well as physically. The individual with fear of intimacy is usually scared of emotional closeness. This fear can manifest itself in numerous ways such as fearing rejection, desertion, betrayal or vulnerability. It may also be felt as a dread of becoming engulfed or entrapped by another.

How Does It Develop?

How does fear of intimacy develop? Some believe it may be the result of discomfort from prior relations. Having a partner who is abusive or unfaithful certainly causes deep heartache and can cause even deeper physiological scars. The fear of intimacy is a self-protection mechanism to guard against being hurt and crushed emotionally once-again.

Many believe fear of intimacy develops in childhood as a protecting behavior. Someone may have been a parent who failed to express love, was abusive, or abandoned the family leaving the child feeling declined and unloved. When something bad happens to us we tend to arrange our lives to protect against facing similar harmful experiences. Naturally, this self-protection through shutting others out, only leads to more heartache in the form of isolation. The choice is to be open to love, intimacy, and vulnerability. Yet, every fiber of your body and mind might be screaming, “No! I was hurt before by being this open. Am I Able To be guaranteed that if I love intimately I will not be hurt again?”

The Other Partner

Fear of intimacy is often looked at through the eyes of the person who has the emotional hurdle but it could also be catastrophic to the other partner. Imagine living with a partner who fears being intimate and sabotages your every attempt to have a normal relationship due to fear. You’re the one who is constantly denied and made to look like the one with the emotional problem. The individual trying to protect themselves will probably use anything at their disposal to protect their own vulnerability even to the point of being deceitful. They will often place the blame on you, to guard themselves.

Living like this may be lonely and mystifying. In a number of cases the fear of intimacy may manifest itself emotionally, though not physically. The relationship might have an active sex life but something is seriously missing. The fear of emotional intimacy destroys a good relationship. Yes there’s physical delight, nevertheless it falls far short of satisfying your emotional needs. Your partner could be free to have physical intimacy but they may be fiercely defending their heart at every step.

Emotional Intimacy

Intimacy should create a place of trust, where we are accepted, loved, and respected. A healthy relationship should really provide a place where you can feel the freedom to share your inner thoughts, issues, and inabilities and know that you are going to still be accepted. In a good relationship, neither side is degraded and nobody will leave the other or lead them to feel deserted. It should be such a beautiful place, a peaceful place, a place to grow with each other and to discover the wonderments of this world. It should additionally be a place where each partner is growing closer to God. Yet, it’s not.

Is There An Answer?

I encourage you to click on the gift, “God’s Answer?” an instantly downloadable 29 page PDF file that will reveal the simple way to live life thru a power that will radically transform your life. You will learn the way to live a life of intimacy you haven’t imagined.

How many years have you struggled with a fear of intimacy or journeyed with a spouse who fears intimacy? You are not here accidentally. It’s time to give your fears to Him and let Him point you to the life of intimacy you have dreamed. I inspire you to allow your heart to receive “God’s Answer?” You see, it is way more about your heart and your intimacy with Him.

“God’s Answer?”

How to Live Through A Power That Will Change Your Life!

Burton Rager author of “Living Life Set Free” and “God’s Answer?” Receive your complimentary copy of “God’s Answer?”To watch a video to discover more about: Fear of Intimacy