Building Trust in Your Relationship – Overcoming the Superiority Hurdle

Building trust in a romantic relationship is not really difficult of itself. However, some people just seem to have this knack for setting up hurdles and roadblocks where there really should be none.

One common but debilitating hurdle that can get in the way of building this trust is the superiority complex – the need of one party to lord it over the other to prove that somehow they are better than their partner. And this “better” notion can take many forms:

* You don’t know what you are talking about;

* You never seem to get it right;

* I seldom make a mistake, but you always seem to;

* You are always screwing up;

* I can’t trust you to do this because so I had better do it;

* That’s not the way I would ever do it.

In this type of environment it is literally impossible for lasting trust to be established. It is an environment where one party has to feel superior to the other in order for him or her to feel worthy. That in itself is a problem, never mind the obstacle it will be in the way of building trust.

This type of relationship can easily be recognized as it normally exhibits the following characteristics:

* There seems to be constant arguing over trivial things.

* The arguments are seldom about the main concerns of each party.

* One person always feel put down by the other.

* There is a tendency to engage in intellectual dishonesty so as to protect personal feelings.

* Emotional and physical intimacy seems burdensome.

If you are involved in this type of relationship then you hardly have to be told how much trust seems to be lacking. Even if trust does exist at a certain level, at another level it is hard to trust someone who always seems to want to put you down.

To have a healthy relationship trust has to mean more than “I can count on you.” It also has to mean “I trust you to be fair, I trust you to give me respect, I trust that you have the capacity to have a healthy regard for me.” In a relationship dominated by the superiority complex none of these are likely to be the case.

If the above in any way describes your romantic relationship then you need to take a good look at the underlying issues resulting in this problem. Basically someone having a superiority complex is someone who feels insecure at certain levels. That would be a good place to start if in fact both parties in the relationship can in fact admit that there is a superiority complex problem.

Admitting to a superiority complex is itself a difficult thing to do, but if your relationship is to experience the level of trust that is necessary to keep it vibrant and alive, that is a small price to pay. Building trust in a relationship can involve overcoming difficult hurdles; the superiority complex may just be one hurdle you have to overcome if you want a healthy relationship.